If these caps featured subtitles, they would read something like:

OOOOOH, I’M STAN, I’M SO CULTURED

I’M THE BEARDLESS AND LESS CLASSY PAUL KINSEY

I LEARNED THIS RELAXATION TECHNIQUE FROM A YOGI

IT’S CALLED TRICKING YOU INTO CLOSING YOUR EYES SO YOU WON’T IMMEDIATELY KICK ME IN THE GROIN WHEN I PULL THIS KIND OF SHIT

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   Wah! Stan kissed Peggy! Talk about repressed sexual tension.

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